BRB, ASA

WHAT.

NOT GEEK

I have nothing to say about movies games television boobies cars or sports because it's still August (for a few more hours anyway) and the large corporations of America have offered us very little this summer. Fuck 'em. It's the economy, stupid, and thank god there's still a thing called "Actual human beings" to socialize with and remind us what's actually entertaining. Unless you live in San Marcos (with apologies to Ms. Schlaege Watercolor Jones III, who is an awesome individual trapped in an old west town).

I KID, I KID. I lived in Denton for 4 years and Sherman for 2. You ain't gotta tell me shit. Sherman makes San Marcos look like Tahiti.

If Dallas is part of "DFW," then San Antonio is the second 2/3 of "ASA." I'm going to keep using this and I'm sure it will catch on.

BIG UPS:

(plural of "up" ... not the fedEx competitor)

CAREY-- Without him I wouldn't have made it to Texas at all. If you see him on the street, give him a fist-bump, though I'm pretty sure strangers do that to him anyway. Flew in Tuesday afternoon, he drove me around and allowed me to crash in a house that was already populated by his wife, his infant daughter, two energetic dogs and two snooty cats.... and, for the second and third day, his father-in-law. AND WE STILL MADE IT TO THE RIVER (well, some of us). We opted for the 3-hour float which, because of the low water, took about 4 1/2 hours. If I wasn't afeared of dropping my phone in the water, I'd have brought it, and photographed the picnic table in the middle of the river right around Mile Eight. There's some symbology or some shit. Or maybe it just seemed more awesome than I thought it was because I was on my 98th can of Shiner Bock. Thanks to Carey, Joe, Shannon and Alex for making the river that much more entertaining. Especially Alex's cartoonishly small inner tube. And yet he still managed to carry the Bud Light Lime.

SHANNON & ALEX -- I spent at least 13 whole seconds trying to combine their name into some kind of Bennifer/Brangelina hybrid, but I couldn't find enough vowels, and besides the whole point of those names is two entities merging into one. I think it's safe to say Shannon still has her full personality intact, and as per usual, takes no shit from anyone. (Though she will take beer she doesn't like in the interest of being polite. DAMMIT SHANNON. JUST ADMIT YOU LIKE BUD LIGHT. YOU WENT THROUGH IT LIKE IT WAS WATER. DELICIOUS, BUBBLY, SLIGHTLY ALCOHOLIC WATER).

Thanks to Alex, too, for driving us around, particularly all the way out to San Antonio. And he never even met me before. That's a bro.

When in San Marcos (and why would you be, but in case you are), visit the delicious and spacious Tap Room. Just down the road, I suppose you COULD visit the head shop and their interesting employees, but I'm pretty sure they sold us some inferior shit. Luckily I'm back in Seattle now where they put Meth in the water supply and prescribe marijuana to babies.

KRISTIAN, KRISTIAN'S TWO ROOMMATES WHOSE NAMES ESCAPE ME, J-MURDER -- Actually that's not true, I'm pretty sure one of Kristian's roommates was named Dave. Anyway. I haven't seen Kristian since I was still in high school, living in the house I did when I was too young to vote, he just another of Josh's friends to run around the house and annoy me. He owns his own business in Austin now, and though I did not get laid on this particular trip, having one of the Kebabs from his Kebab stand was a close second. Also it helped that he had the hook-up at the bar across the street, where "Rum and Coke" is heard by the bartenders as, "I'll have a medium-glass of rum and I guess maybe if you feel like it you can include a light splash of coke just for color."

I'm not mentioning my little brothers "longtime companion" because a) He's not reading this anyway, b) All she does is say what she's thinking, which allows for honesty but less-than-scintillating conversation, and c) The only three things she talked about at any given time, in the 24 hours I was around her (results are extremely typical), "Adam when are you coming back to Houston," "Adam why don't you come back to Houston more?" "I gained so much weight when I was pregnant, but then I had a miscarriage."

I had better conversations with their 3-year-old Husky, Jayda. She only knows three phrases and is more pleasurable to have around than that ... person... whom my brother proclaims is the most "tolerable" woman in Houston. Which I think says a lot more about Houston than anything.

Saturday we got together for lunch, and while the lake was initially off, of course it stands that minutes after making tentative Austin-plans with Shan&Alex, J's hook-up calls him to tell him the river is back on. Well shit. We hit up Lake Travis at that point, with some friends of J & K's. They had a speedboat. The friends were expert wakeboarders, Josh was a novice, and I was even worse than that, yet somehow ended up on the water with a miniature snowboard strapped to my feet. I wiped out five times, getting better each time, and while consensus was that I would've got to my feet eventually, I told 'em the sun was going down and I didn't want to waste their river-time for the additional half-hour it would've taken me. Then the pros went wake-surfing and we headed back to Kristian's house for about ten hours of ping-pong (interspersed with television, Lone Star beer, and a trip to the Alamo Draft House for "Winnebago Man").

Special thanks to Kristian again for entertaining me for the 15 hours between when my little brother left, and when I had to get on my plane. Also to San Marcos peeps for suggesting the museum. It was a tiny place, but always happy to check out art.

The plane ride from Austin to Phoenix was near-empty. The plane ride from Phoenix to Seattle had me sitting between an excitable and inquisitive 6-year-old girl (aisle), and a tattooed gentleman in his early 20s who had never flown before (window), who had to re-check with me what the airsick bag was, because when he'd gotten an answer from the 6-year-old he didn't believe it. He seemed excited to fly, but as soon as the plane was in the air, he fell asleep.

Final score? Phoenix -- 95+ degrees. Austin/San Antonio-- 90-95 degrees every day I was there. Seattle -- 62 degrees the day I arrived back.

Was extremely happy to see everyone and had only positive experiences the entire time I was in Texas (except for my little brothers taste in females). Thanks to my hosts, and thanks to Southwest Airlines. Now it is time for football.

GEEK

Damn. We didn't get to play Mafia 2.